[NB: Satire or truth? We invite readers of what follows to be the judges.]
President Jojo Binay will be fantastic for PHL. Country has had leaders with myopic vision. He will show the world that what a 4′-9″ can see is better than what anyone else sees, since he is used to seeing the asses of the six-footers. He will have the foresight to know which priorities do matter because foresight sounds like it has something to do with four, and as already said, he had to reckon with this number since his coming of age. As a result, he will have well thought programs to support his vision. Because he will make his vision a part of him, he will be a firm leader, firmer than the permed hair of the asses he always sees. Unlike BS Aquino, he will not tolerate bungling managers who don't know their ass from their elbow; as already said, he knows an ass as he knows a hole. Unlike BS, his organization will not be a jungle of confusion. His will be lean and mean, as lean as the six-foot basketball player he always aspired to be and as mean as his son at the gate of Dasma.
Binay is a boy scout and has been in many scouting hikes. He knows that what slows down a hike are the fat and the weak in the group. Thus, he will immediately address the problems of inequality and poverty. This means job creation will be a priority. Unlike BS who has neglected manufacturing and agriculture as shown by the dismal performance of these sectors during BS' watch, Binay will focus on these sectors precisely because these sectors are the biggest job generators.
The Binays have already shown core expertise in piggery, orchid growing, exotic bird and race horse breeding, as well as their love for antiques. Because of this expertise, Binay can effectively teach families the know-how in these fields, spurring the unprecedented growth of small and medium enterprises (SMEs), To help these SMEs, the populace will be encourage to eat pork. That means also that more people will frequent hospitals, and more hospitals will be built, which will give jobs to the countless jobless nurses; hitting two exotic birds with one stone. Scientists will also have jobs for they will have to study how each specie of orchids can be made edible and delicious. Tourists will come to taste our unique pork sinigang blended with orchid; again hitting two exotic birds with one stone. With so many race horses, people will go to work without cars; thus easing traffic. And, with so much horseshit around, PHL will not need to import coal and oil for energy. With too many exotic birds being killed with one stone, more will have to be bred. Binay, thus, will be known as the one who stopped the vicious cycle of poverty, the one who started the wheel of progress. The resulting high spirit will psychologically invite curiousness from foreign direct investors. The resulting investments will create a lot of local dummies as dummy partners, but never mind, by that time, PHL will be on its way to becoming the next tiger economy.
In addition, Binay is a self made man; he disdains those born with a silver spoon. The oligarchs will have to be careful; their monopolistic businesses will be reviewed as to why they take advantage of the poor and ignorant with the high prices and poor quality of their goods and services. There is a likelihood that he will attempt to break them, even destroy them. So that when these oligarchs become poor, they can just work their way up again and can also be called self-made, just like him. For sure, he will send a message to all these grandstanding politicians by just demolishing the Quirino Grandstand. He will build there the most magnificent parking building; his taste is always world class. They can all park their SUVs, Mercs and Bimmers there, but not stand up and grandstand. Luneta will be covered with orchids. The museum will be expanded to house all the antiques that could be acquired from the world. It will not just be more fun in the Philippines, it will be literally be funny, and why not?
For sure, he knows every trick in the book about corruption. In his term, every politician will be caught even before they think and scheme a tongpats. The culture of corruption in government will have to change culture, and Binay will assist in the transformation. He will also do something about education for he also personally knows something about this. Just look at the fantastic training he has given Jun-jun Binay, the incumbent Mayor of Makati.
Say Beep, Beep and Vote Binay for President.
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