Saturday, June 7, 2014

The #Philippines explained using 2 cows #ASEAN


OLIGARCHY
You have no cows. Only oligarchs are allowed cows, and will sell you milk at monopoly prices, providing you are grateful and subservient.

A POLITICAL DYNASTY
You breed cows. The constitution says nothing about not electing cows to office.

THE PHILIPPINES GOVERNMENT
You have no cows, but lots of 'cash cows' to send abroad.

A PHILIPPINES ENTREPRENEUR
You have 2 cows, by copying someone elses business model.

A PHILIPPINE LGU
You have 'ghost' cows, and claim grants and aid via a dummy NGO to help fund 'research'. All funds kept in offshore account, or used to buy house in Las Vegas.

A PHILIPPINE POLITICIAN
You have 2 cows - your wife knows, but turns a blind eye!

A PHILIPPINE MAYOR
Threatens to shoot cattle rustlers, and dreams of being a sheriff.

A PHILIPPINE NGO
You have no cows, but through a worldwide appeal, money to build a place to keep them, in Los Angeles.

A PHILIPPINES FAMILY
You have 2 cows. You sell one to the bull farm to pay debts The other thinks the grass is greener on the other side of the fence and becomes a ladycow in thailand. You now have no cows, but are proud.

A PHILIPPINES TOURIST
Do you have 2 young cows to hire?

And from Uncyclopedia: -

DEMOCRACY - Philippines
You have two cows. The people are hungry. An election is held, and the cows win because their milk fed the people. The people go hungry again and take to the streets in People Power and demand the cows to be slaughtered. They are made into hamburgers. A few days later, the people are hungry again.

DEMOCRACY - Philippines
If the cows hate their herder, they simply cause a stampede and dump their pies all over a field called EDSA to force him/her out. If that doesn't work, they try (and try, and try, and try, and try, and try and try, and try, and try---whew--but, hold on, I'm not done yet--and try and try and try...) again to impeach him/her.

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