I have come under attack recently from corrupted people close to GMA about being at a party last Friday night during the Sendong Typhoon among other things.
Therefore I would like to set the record straight on several issues. Firstly let’s not forget that before GMA was elected as president there were no Typhoons, Mud slides, Corruption, Crime, Murders and Journalists Killed. Any isolated cases that happened prior to GMA becoming president were only during the time of the dictator Marcos.
Since the introduction of my Wang Wang law corruption in this country has declined by 50% and as you will see below I have plans to eliminate corruption completely.
For those of you who keep criticizing me all I can say is that you are just jealous because I was the first person in this country to get the IPhone 4. This new phone will help me stop any future Typhoons, Mud slides, Corruption, Crime, Murders and to fight the chinese.
Some of you have also complained about my smile. It is not my fault that I have a very alluring and seductive smile, I am a bachelor and the girls love my smile. I wanted to have a Justin Bieber hairstyle but because of GMA I don’t have enough hair. So instead of complaining please go and get a life.
Finally I would like to layout my plans for stopping Typhoons, Mud slides, Corruption, Crime and Murders in the Philippines. From now on public officials are not allowed to say Merry Christmas this will stop corruption and the words Logging, Guns, Mud and Crime will be banned completely in order to ensure that we can eradicate Typhoons, Mud slides and Crime.
I would kindly ask you redirect any criticisms you may have towards me, to GMA, Marcos, Corona, or Merci, I am only the President I am not responsible for all your problems.
Lastly as you are aware I am practicing my shooting skills so that I can lead our new warship in our fight against the Chinese over the Spartlys.
The above was posted by commenter "Mark" in a Get Real Post comment. It is not an official message issued or endorsed by Malacañang.